June 22, 2011
It has become painfully clear to me today that I am in desperate need of friends here in Novafeltria. Sure, I have Emily and Gretchen, but Emily is faculty and working all the time and Gretchen and I are on completely different paths here and rarely run into each other. The combination of these scheduling issues combined and jet-lag, I have been spending far too much time by myself, and am beginning to get lonely.
Well, that’s an easy fix, just go make friends with all the other people here who don’t know anyone. I’m finding that easier said than done. It is interesting that I am struggling, as I make friends quickly, and have already made a few connections with people here, but I am somehow timid to reach out to my peers right now.
Me. Timid? I think Hell just froze over.
I just need to gain my footing here, I think, and all will be well. I’m almost over my jet lag, but I need to get into a routine that will allow me to keep up on my studies AND have a social life (hmm, that sounds familiar…I’ve been attempting that my entire life..) I’m still feeling a little overwhelmed from the workload I spoke of yesterday, and I think I will be more social when I don’t feel like a loser wannabe insomniac anymore— I spent a good five hours studying language and trying to gain some ground on Don Bucefalo (the opera I’m in. I’ll tell you about it later—Its really cute.) last night and woke up just as exhausted as I was when I fell asleep. Thank God for B12, otherwise, I wouldn’t be awake now, as I don’t like coffee, especially espresso, am not a soda drinker, and get sleepy easily when I’m warm. No worries, I’m not second guessing or anything and I will be back to my ol’ optimistic, disgustingly effervescent self in a few days.
On a far happier note, tonight is my first performance and I am incredibly excited. I am going to sing Ideale, a F.P. Tosti piece that seemed to be beloved by all at my farewell concerts. I think it is fitting for the setting here at LML. The lyrics of the piece speak of glimpsing your heart’s desire, your ultimate ideal, and begging for it to turn once more for you to gaze upon. My heart’s desire is the mastery of the human voice, which I believe is found in opera. Being here, watching the singers who are eons ahead of me in technique, gives me a glimpse into my ideal and lights the fire within me to continue on. Only through my perseverance will I be able to achieve my ideal. Fitting, Francesco. Thanks for the support.
The Next Day….
Life got a lot better fairly quickly yesterday. I definitely had a full day of lessons and my first staging for Don Bucefalo, which was really entertaining and yet at the same time reminded me of how much work I still need to do on memorization. I also had my first concert, which was awesome. I had made the mistake of telling one of the Italian professors about Francesco Paolo, and he put me as the final singer and gave a long-winded explanation to the audience, which made me ultra-nervous—Not only because I was singing for singers (who are the most critical of other singers and quick to judge quality), but because most of them know Tosti (say wha?) and have higher expectations of me because of it.
Of course, my nerves translated on stage and I didn’t feel my best about the piece, but I gave it my all. It would be what it would be.
After the concert, I met up with Gretch, Emily, and Jeffery, and was surprised that they liked the piece. Gretchan told me my interpretation of it was “honest and vulnerable,” which is probably the best compliment I have every received. I really connected to the two Tosti pieces in my rep, more so with Ideale than In Van Preghi, and I am ecstatic that my emotion showed through. As Jeffery said, I still need to grow vocally, but my friend’s reviews of my first performance gave me a great deal of hope. My desire to go for a master in music increases every day I’m here, and with that desire comes the dread of going about the audition process. I don’t have a degree in music, and I am a little behind my peers (It was only in the last year that I decided to seriously pursue opera…), so my audition has to be flawless if I am to get into the opera program at the U next year. That being said, I need some new rep that’s nice and high and full of runs (no not the montezuma’s revenge kind of runs, non-music people. It means singing lots of notes quickly up and down the scale.). My LML voice teacher gave me some suggestions, so if I can download some or copy some out of someone’s book, I will start learning some more rep here.
Anyway, back to my day.
After the concert, we went to a little restaurant (caffe? I don’t know what it was), drank wine and ate dessert. We moved on to Jolly shortly after, where I made two acquaintances from Canada. We parted from Gretchen and the group of us made our way to the Caffe at the Piazza where Emily and I sipped Limón cello and chatted with my new acquaintances and a group of LML people. I stayed up chatting until around 2am (woops), and made my way back to my spider-infested, lonely house. I got to talk to mom and dad, which was awesome, but probably wasn’t so great for the phone bill. I used to call them every day—multiple times a day, even. It’s really difficult for me to transition to a mostly phone-free lifestyle. Maybe I’ll get a pay-as-you-go europhone…I already have a European blow drier—which strangely doesn’t fit in the power socket in my bathroom (go fig.). It gives me more reason to come back to Europe later on.
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