LML: Hopeful Hamburgers and Flying Objects 7/2-7/6


July 6, 2011
I apologize for not writing in a while. It has been a very stressful couple of days.

Saturday I had my first run through of my scene with the director…it didn’t go well. Opera is a completely different world, and as prepared as I was, my idea of what it meant to be prepared and what the opera world considers prepared didn’t mesh up and I was left feeling wounded and discouraged. Perhaps this isn’t for me? Perhaps I should stick to Jazz, pop, and rock where I am on familiar territory…?

No.

As much as the encounter hurt, I decided to take what good I could from it and work my ass off on the music. My group worked for hours on the piece, over and over and over, and I spent almost all my free time memorizing all my music. Jeffery and Emily even pitched in giving us their time to make sure all was ready.
The wonderful thing about this program is that you aren’t alone in the experience. Sure, you always have people in the same spot as you in opera, but in a program like this you can lean on your peers and garner help—it is ALL a learning experience. Through the council I received from my friends and some wonderful words from dear Gretchen, I felt considerably better about the situation as a whole.

There are always setbacks, no matter what area of the music industry you are a part of. The difference between those who make it and those who don’t partially relies on talent, but mostly relies on perseverance. I think this experience began to stiffen my backbone and harden my resolve. Who knows what my final decision will be, but as one of the professors here said, I shouldn’t tear up a contract until I’ve been given one.

Right now, I am still all in.

The fourth of July was very interesting here in Novafeltria.  Lance had filmed the fireworks from home for me, and I began my 4th of July celebration via Youtube. Other than that, It was a day of classes, coachings, and rehearsals, just like all the others. After a long Don Bucefalo rehearsal, I met up with the crew and a new friend, Sarah (a delightful woman from Hawaii), and grabbed ourselves burgers, fries, wine, and veggie pizza for Gretchen. It was not quite the same as American food, but it was enough to make me long for home.
Ending up at the CafĂ© for drinks, I decided not to stay out too late. Despite being surrounded by people, I was feeling lonely and homesick. I think a combination of our Independence Day and the lingering feelings of hurt from my first scenes rehearsal brought out my homesickness, as I had no one to hold and make it “better” (there’s my child ego coming out, psych fans…). So, sulking back to my flat, I called Lance to have some kind of contact with home, said hello to Il Signor, and went to bed.

Not the most exciting of celebrations, but it is what happens when you are far from home.
All yesterday was spent working scenes and Don Bucefalo, and I ended up going to bed around 11. It was the first night I got 8 hours of sleep since I’ve been here. I awoke with a feeling of dread in my belly, knowing that today I was to run my scene again with the director. I was distracted in Italian, mentally drifting in and out of the class. I don’t know how much I retained.  Even my rucola e formaggio Panini couldn’t keep my attention as I ate with Gretchen and her roommate. I was so afraid of failing again.

Respite came in my voice lesson, where I FINALY found some of the freedom all the coaches I’ve worked with have wanted me to find. A switch was turned on as Marianne, my coach here (Funny that two of my coaches are of the same name, spelled differently. <3 you Mary Ann!), played a rowdy game of catch while I sang my pieces.  At every point I struggled with—or thought too much about—Marianne tossed the brush we were using just far enough to send me flying across the room. I didn’t dare look at the pianist as I careened through the air and into desks, sure that she must think us mad. No matter how silly it looked, It worked. I floated my high C’s and my jaw went slack.

Moral of the story, If I am ever starting to look stiff on stage, just throw something at me (and not a hankie).

 Revitalized from my lesson, I blogged a little—with the help of gelato—and spoke through my scene with one of my scene-mates, then worked the scene one final time with a coach before heading into my full scene rehearsal.

It went splendidly.

We staged the entire recitative in the hour we had with the director. The story line of the scene goes like this:
Carolina, the main character, is the younger sister of Elisetta (my character), and elopes without her father’s knowledge. Hoping to lessen the blow of telling her father, Carolina’s hubby convinces a count to marry Elisetta, bringing a title into the family. In this scene, Elisetta has just been proposed to by the count, not knowing of her sister’s marriage nor her hand in the betrothal. Elisetta, now taking on the persona of snobby rich elite, quarrels with Carolina for her lack of “respect” (hey they are siblings! It happens.). Fidalma, the sister’s aunt, breaks into the fray, beseeching the two to just grow up and stop acting like idiots.

Our interpretation of the scene is modern, being held while shopping for wedding gowns for Elisetta and seems more and more to be something out of “Say Yes to the Dress” or “Bridezillas.” Although we only have the first bit staged, I am in love.  I can now understand why we erred in our first meeting with the director, and the spark of hope I felt flickering out only a few days ago is now bursting within me. I could do this for a living.

Being that I am still kind of high from the experience today, I don’t know if I should make such bold statements yet, but there is no reason to. There is still time to decide.

My Don Bucefalo rehearsal didn’t go nearly as well as I had hoped, partially because I couldn’t remember the staging and partially because I am struggling to memorize my entrances and, in some parts, words. Therefore, I am going to follow a similar process as I did with my scenes, tying emotion and action to words and melody so that I have a reason for doing/singing what I do. That way, I can spend more time on the choreography than anything else—because so far that is my favorite part...other than the singing, of course.

So, for the most part, all is well in Novafeltria. I miss my family and my Lance dearly, but I am learning a lot about myself and what I am able to do. I will come back a better musician, and a better person. 

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